The missing feeling



 For an unknown time I have been "keeping things simple," or creating to "just make." Using my hobby to "just stay busy." I had a shift recently which has brought to light something "unexpected." The feeling of "being inspired." Yes, I have done some small projects which I "just new" in the moment what needed to be done. Its the "feeling inspired" with no real purpose behind the project. The inspired idea which causes me to "really be nervous." Because the idea which I envision "seems impossible." The idea which with my limited drawing skills "seems impossible to draw." An idea which you keep trying to "get away from."

The seems impossible can be "very intimidating." It has the power to bring "alot of questions." From where to start, how to execute the idea just to name a few questions. I have had the insight of slowing down while working on my projects. I unknowingly was using my hobby as "a distraction." Distracting myself from something I wasnt aware of. A distraction to "just keep myself a float" through each day. Now let me be clear. Each of my small projects I do love what I have done. I am realizing "I was missing something else." Missing the purpose for which I have started "making treasures." Missing that treasures come in all sizes. Missing the factor that "the finish line takes time and patients to reach." Missing that "I dont have to create just because." I can use time to ponder, explore, and discover "what truly wants to be created." I can use the time to discover "the next big idea."   

I have done things this week which I have missed "the feeling." The nervous feeling of "this idea is," and really not know where to start. The feeling that I just need to take a leap of faith and "start." The feeling that "the project will look worse before it will be better." The feeling of "trusting the process and my skill." Missing the factor that "you even without an exact plan" something will be discovered through the process. 

From making my own T shirt designs for fun. To figuring out "my next big idea." Taking the time to be sure "it looks right." Knowing that my heart will tell me as I put the pieces together. I was reminded with this project that "its small steps." I remember with each step feeling the nervous of "are you sure." But my heart would win out through "trusting the process." 

Its still not finishes and there is alot of "fine details." But through mental relaxation and not being distracted "I am loving this path." I am enjoying remember these feelings from when I first started wood carving and creating. Here is to my future projects. 




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